What an Estate Agents says #funny

What an Estate Agents says	What the Estate Agent Means
Multi-vehicular block-paved driveway parking facility	Large Drive.
Scope for improvement	The place is falling apart.
Internal Viewing Recommended	Looks awful on the outside.
Far reaching views to the rear	The wind screams across the rear garden.
Greatly improved	A Do It Yourself nut has had free reign of the house.
Unusual feature	It has a feature you will want to rip out as soon as you move in.
Interesting....	Weird....previous owners were constantly under some form of herbal influence.
Bijou	Would suit contortionist with growth hormone deficiency.
Compact	See Bijou, then divide by two.
Has a homely feeling	The house has not been decorated since the 1950s.
Well stocked garden	Allow at least 10 hours a week for weeding.
Decorated in a modern style...	The colour scheme is horrific.
Friendly village atmosphere	Nothing to do after 4pm and your neighbours will refuse to speak to you as a newcomer